Why President Obama's Favorite Zoo Specie Must Remain Classified

By Rudy Socha 

There has been an animal issue brewing and kept under wraps even longer than the breed selection of the new First Puppy. What’s President Obama’s favorite zoo animal?

Before President Obama was elected to office I was bugging his press team for this small confidential piece of information. Then came President Obama’s trip to the Honolulu Zoo, and I thought I had lost the story. However, no one asked him the critical question “What is your favorite zoo animal?”.

Six months later and after a trip to DC, it was pointed out to me that as President of the United States, President Obama can not disclose his favorite zoo animal. Doing so could have political and possibly international ramifications.

There are connotations and political implications of many animal species. Let me give you a few examples of what would happen if President Obama announced one of the following species as his favorite: 

Elephant – A very masculine, noble, and sturdy looking animal. Republicans, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity would love to see this announcement. The democratic donkey would never get over the humiliation. Also, the species’ masculine appearance can be deceiving, the herd is actually run by a matriarch not a bull.

Bear – With the country’s current economic condition there is no way the President can announce he loves bears and if he named a sub-species and chooses the Panda Bear, the international symbol of China, what would China, the media, and the public have to say?

Cheetah, Jaguar, Panther – These are considered feminine big cats as a result of many advertisements that appeared in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. It was considered chic for runway models to appear with one of these big cats on a leash.

Tiger – A masculine big cat that would be a great fit for the President. The problem is that Prime Minister Putin has already laid claim to this species. There is no way President Obama wants to invite his opponents or the media to draw any.

Deer – Very agile and athletic animals, much like the President. However there are two problems with this specie. The first is the Bambi image of someone who is cute, vulnerable and somewhat helpless. The second is that they are viewed as a nuisance in many parts of the country due to over population.

Giraffe – Howard Stern is waiting for a zoo to name a giraffe after him, need I say more!!!

Jackass – The symbol of the Democratic Party. You have never heard a member of the Democratic Party brag about this mascot specie and use statements such as “We’re the party of Jackasses”. Announcing the Jackass as his favorite specie would stigmatize every member of his administration especially when a mistake is made.

Lately, President Obama has been renewing his election pledge of transparency so I’m cautiously optimistic that he may personally declassify this important piece of information.

If not, then perhaps someone in the White House Press Corps will ask the question on my behalf during an upcoming presidential interview or press conference. If so, I’ll send the questioning reporter a zoo species plush animal that will be the envy of their colleagues.

Rudy Socha is CEO of Zoo and Aquarium Visitor, http://www.zandavisitor.com, an online media company serving the 350 million Americans who visit animal related attractions every year.

 Take a minute and tell us what zoo species would present a positive image for President Obama and why.